Do I Need a Greenhouse?

Ok, I copied this from my weightwatchers blog.  On my WW blog, I tend to engage in stream of consciousness writing; I am often amazed at what I learn from letting go and writing.  I was planning this blog as a sort of travelogue of the driftless area, i.e., "come see how beautiful it is here and see the quirky, interesting things there are to see and do here and then I'll decide which driftless area community is best for me."  This morning, it really struck me that my search for a new place to land is as much about who I am and who I want to be as it is about the amenities or landscape of the different communities.

My Reflection on Dousman Pond, St. Feriole Island

WW Blog:   I went out of town on a business trip and actually lost a fraction of a pound! It helped that the business took me to La Crosse - a city with Kohl's and a mall. Instead of returning to my room to eat every night, I shopped and shopped. It was so much fun, and I have new clothes that I love. And, shopping involves walking so it was a win/win (even my pocketbook is thinner!). And I realized that if I lived in a bigger town/city (my current town just barely tops 700 people - 18,000 in the entire county), that I would be more active and involved. I was active and had a social, political and intellectual life, before we moved to the middle of nowhere albeit a very beautiful nowhere. Despite the physically and emotionally draining nature of my work project, I felt energized this week in a way I haven't in a very long time. Some people thrive where they are planted. Is it a character flaw that I need to be planted in the sun with a dose of miracle-gro?

Lone Boater on the Mississippi River

After writing this passage in my WW blog, I began to understand that I need to acknowledge and embrace a few things about myself:  First, it's not about the shopping, it's about the variety and the opportunity for choice that variety provides.  And it's not just variety of goods, it's the diversity of people that a larger locale provides.

I need people, and places to congregate with people - all sorts of people.  And, I need different places to work on projects and causes - with people, real, in the flesh people.  It's been almost twenty years since we moved to this beautiful, lonely place where I am a fish out of water. When we lived in Kenosha County (so close to Milwaukee and Chicago and places in between) I was a doer and a thinker and I loved it. I was the mother of four little ones, and I attended law school part time, and I had great friends.  I miss the Unitarian Church meetings, and classes for fun and learning, and I miss meeting friends for coffee to plan our next project or to just sit and talk. Here, in the beautiful place, I meet friends from work for lunch sometimes, but we're all so busy during the work day and after work, we all go home to our families in our different small communities and we shut the door.  Or I go to kids' sporting and school events and we talk about the weather or the kids but then I go home and shut the door - we (or maybe it's "I") don't congregate.

The Mississippi River is beautiful, but I don't want to be the lone boater anymore.  Even if the congested highway is less peaceful, and less beautiful, it is more me.