There is unending natural beauty here. But here's the downside for me:
Why is Wyalusing my favorite park, and not Pikes Peak or Effigy Mounds?
Because I like solitude. I like to retreat. I love the city for the same reason. In the city, I can be a nameless stranger. In small town america, where every body knows your name, it feels like there is no retreat. I think you need to be very strong, or unflawed, or immune from the criticism of others to live in a small town and I am none of these things.
If I want to live here, I must be strong. And I am strong. But, it takes life force and energy to stay strong in the face of criticism and gossip. I prefer to use my energy in other ways.
I live in a small town, and I am different.
Susan
ReplyDeleteYour post really resonated with me. Same thing - different reasons. I recently left my job of eleven months because I was being bullied at work. My job was in the centre of a small Northumbrian village and when I arrived I was amazed at the village politics.
Then my relationship with my boss went pear shaped and life got very difficult. It bothered me and bothers me now that since I've left my ex-boss is busy besmirching me. Some (who know me not at all) are only too happy to believe whatever she feeds them but that's because people, some people anyway, have small lives and for reasons known only to themselves they prefer to hear the bad rather than the good in people. It hurts, no question, but we have to rise above it.
Thanks for your comment. Village politics are difficult to fathom unless you've ever been on the wrong side of the powers that be. I will write about that one day, just as I will write about village charity and support because I do see the value of small town life. For me, now that my children are grown, the dark side is not worth the benefit.
DeleteI agree, we need to rise above it and I usually do. But some days are darker than others. I think the real annoyance to me is that it bothers me so much, and that I can change!
I live in a small town (in New Zealand) but haven't encountered any pettiness or gossip - I wish I could wave a wand over your town and make it the same experience for you. A year ago I popped into the local shop to buy beer, and accidentally dropped the case on the floor shattering it to pieces. The woman who cleaned it up has remembered not only my first name but my surname - but she's the only person in town who knows my name. I know the local real estate agent and that's about it. I like solitude too. It's brave of you to face what you do - it must be hard to move on with the future when people around you are reminding you of the past.
ReplyDeleteHello Susan, Thank you for sharing your story with us. In your about me you say you are ready to move away from this tiny town and it seems like indeed you are. Sometimes we all need a little push to do something that is difficult. I'm hoping for you you find out where it is you want to go so you can start taking some steps in that direction...
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